@BeCoco77: He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Inferno_V: "Don't put your brother in the fridge" is something I never thought I'd say, yet here I am.
@Shade510: Me 5pm: Need to go easy on the booze tonight, have to function tomorrow. Me 1am: *twerking in a Denny's parking lot.
@drankturpentine: *a jerk swings a hammer at me but I dodge and hold up a birdhouse that was one nail shy of being completed*