@RandomAntics: He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.
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@joejwest: The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
@NYC_Blonde: Me: One large buttery popcorn please! Him: Ma'am you have to buy a ticket to get into the movies... Me: One large buttery popcorn TO GO SIR