@RandomAntics: He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.
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@iwearaonesie: the dog ran into a fence chasing a squirrel. she doesn't look anything like me but she's mine. i can tell
@KyleMcDowell86: [job interview] "What's your biggest weakness?" "My honesty" "I don't think-" "I broke into ur house and made love to ur cat last night"
@TylerLinkin: A news report says hackers stole $1 Billion dollars from banks around the world. And several pens.