@monochromatiic: He who laughs first, must be using 3G internet.
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@headway10: Overheard in a restaurant. Grandma: "Oh, I could really go for a Quickie right about now!" Grandpa: "It's pronounced a Quiche, dear!"
@TheDailySchmuck: Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say.
@nedostup: I can't stand lactose intolerant people who work at ice cream parlors. They can dish it out but they can't take it.