@on_the_fritz_17: "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" is beautiful to hear in a children's classroom - but not at the site of a plane crash.
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@majoleaguetweet: Life is like a box of chocolates, The good ones are always gone before I get there!
@InternetHippo: If Trump is so bad why does he visit a homeless shelter every day? [someone whispers in my ear] I am now being told it’s to taunt them
@thatdutchperson: [about to message girl he likes] Me: I should just talk to her like I would anyone else. Be myself. And not act stupid. Brain: OR