@on_the_fritz_17: "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" is beautiful to hear in a children's classroom - but not at the site of a plane crash.
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@ConanOBrien: Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”
@jonnysun: *at the movie theater* umm ok the hackers also said theyd do a terror unless u giv me unlimited free popcorn and uh.. also that guys popcorn
@Cheeseboy22: If you are wondering how many ketchup packets you can put in a Holiday Inn hot tub before people stop going in, the answer is 9.
@Karate_Horse: You can sign up for as many karate classes as you want there is literally no one monitoring this