@BadAssB48546279: Headed to police station to go through mugshots for a date tonight. I don't trust ChristianMingle.
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@robfee: While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective weapon against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?
@mjkspeaks: [interview] THEM: what would you say if i gave you money from the register and told you to keep it? ME: thank you.
@MythicPicnic: Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans.
@jonnysun: FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same… work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?