@BadAssB48546279: Headed to police station to go through mugshots for a date tonight. I don't trust ChristianMingle.
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@krisv_723: Wow, you've got a lot of hickeys Kris. Me: Busy weekend *winks *remembers wrestling that octopus at the aquarium for giving me side eye.
@SondraDeeMe: "Dreadfully mediocre." "Astonishing lack of imagination." "Your child peaked at age 5." - why my friends no longer invite me to school plays
@ozzyunc: Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs.