@BadAssB48546279: Headed to police station to go through mugshots for a date tonight. I don't trust ChristianMingle.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShesARealGenius: On your first day in prison, make sure you go up to the warden and compliment the décor.
@JessBWatson: I'm not sure what I did wrong but the pile of LEGOs left on the bath mat while I was in the shower seems like some kind of threat.
@ElleOhHell: BUNNIES: I love hopping! SNAKE WITH BUNNY EARS ON A POGO STICK: Haha yes, but shouldn't we get home and check on our delicious babies?
@DaddyJew: [job interview] What's your biggest weakness? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Sorry about that. Questions, definitely questions.