@Donna_McCoy: Heading to the dentist. I hope they've all taken their Valium and said their prayers.
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@DosieDoe: US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today.
@13spencer: Relationship advice: Find someone who likes (or dislikes) the same amount of air-conditioning as you, and stick with them.
@slimmy_shady: My tongue was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records until the damn librarian kicked me out.