@slyoung5: Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
I can accomplish this if I avoid my mother.
@DirtyySouthMess: I always thought I was attracted to men but this chick eating a Snickers on the elliptical has me questioning things.
@RealLucasNeff: Billionaire: I'd like to do something about crime.
Butler: Being poor, I've got some great ideas--
Billionaire: I want to dress as a bat.
BOSS: How many words can you type a minute?
ME: Probably all of them
BOSS: What do you mean?
ME: Well, like for example, pickle
@sixfootcandy: The only bright side to food poisoning is weighing yourself when it's over.