@slyoung5: Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
I can accomplish this if I avoid my mother.
@sofarrsogud: YOGA CLASS
INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog
GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose.
@ka_unplugged: There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own
@Gooooats: Me: I love you.
Me: tah. I love Utah. So many national parks.
@decentbirthday: Evil villain: You can run but you can't hide!
Me: That's where you're wrong pal. *out of breath* I can't do either
@causticbob: I recently got a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."
Then when people ask me what it means...