@MiddleageM: Heard my mom tell my dad to "stop tossing her salad" at the dinner table and now I can't look at either one of them without laughing...
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@tayandmae: I may not look good naked, but I'm a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
@AsgardianRose: Perks of being an adult: I can eat 8 cookies, no one can stop me. Cons of being an adult: I ate 8 cookies, no one stopped me, I feel awful.
@RobElliottComic: When I order delivery online and there's a "Notes" box I put "Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON" *Puts on dragon costume *Waits in bushes