@AcrimoniousClwn: Heard rumors that a coworker slept her way to a promotion. Damn, if the bosses only saw how much I sleep at my desk I'd own this place.
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@RdrJay47: The only things certain in life are death, taxes, and forgetting my reusable grocery bags.
@ProdigyNelson: [bedroom] Her: omg don't stop Me: what was that? Her: *sighs* Simon says don't stop
@iamspacegirl: *ring* Mrs. Rabbit: Hello? Mr. McGregor: Your kid's in my yard again. Mrs. Rabbit: Oh i'm so sorry, is he- Mr. McGregor: yea he's naked