@J_Luce3: Heard someone died from eating a meal that wasn't Instagrammed.
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@12spoopy11u: Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Her monopoly has left the seashore economy in shambles. 86% of hermit crabs are now homeless.
@Zambah_: Time zones are amazing! Here in New Zealand it's tomorrow, in America it's yesterday and in North Korea it's 1980.
@SortaBad: My college girlfriend texted me for the first time in 10 years this weekend and I'm 1 million percent sure this is Adele's fault