@J_Luce3: Heard someone died from eating a meal that wasn't Instagrammed.
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@vrunt: please god what the hell did i do to deserve all this *flashback to 12 years ago when i threw a flashbang at my own team in CounterStrike*
@KyleMcDowell86: *sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* "No no, allow me" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*
@LOsepyan: Me? Need a Bag? Nah chill son, Ima juggle this 6 pack of beer and watermelon on my head while riding a scooter.
@trojansauce: LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no