@Thrill_Tweeter: Hearing deteriorates as we get older. So why with every new year does the sound of someone eating become louder & more annoying?
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@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy
@bourgeoisalien: The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, "Happy Birthday" just to get cake.
@The_JRM: There's a woman here who, by the amount of makeup on her face, fought with a rainbow - and lost.
@seamussaid: my wife and I do this Batman role play where I disappear mid conversation like with Commissioner Gordon