@TheTweetOfGod: Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later.
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@PrettyNBoots: Deactivated my FB. Before the final "submit", they show you pictures of "friends" that says "These people will miss you". Best laugh ever.
@Token_Geezer: Fun Prank: Use Bluetooth to play 30 second blasts of Napalm Death on your neighbours stereo. They’ll think they have a poltergeist and move
@equinelover137: A guy just said he wants to know what I got "in the trunk" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard