@TheTweetOfGod: Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later.
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@AbbyHasIssues: An old guy at the gym told me I looked like his late wife. I'm hoping he meant while she was alive.
@juskewitch: If I see a parked car with one of those stick figure family things, I always add a sticker of myself to it and then just wait in the car.