@Sassafrantz: He'd probably stop sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts if he saw how many chins pop out when I look down to read it.
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@ArfMeasures: [court] LAWYER: Did u kill him? ME: No L: You know what the punishment is for committing perjury? ME [lips on the mic] Much less than murder
@ceejoyner: No human will ever understand humiliation like a dog who happens to run into a wolf while wearing a sweater.
@Sassafrantz: And then the Lord said unto thee "any social media site besides Facebook asking for prayers shall go unanswered." Matthew 4:23