@EndhooS: Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like 'Stabbyrabbit' or 'Weaponrat'
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@bgirl314: 5: Mommy can we pee in the pool? M: NO! Neighbors kid: Why? M: Because pee mixed with chlorine produces sharks and they'll eat and kill you.
@DoucheMcBaggus: When my son gets uppity, I like to remind him that I'm totally nailing his mom.
@meganamram: party idea: "DUI or IUD?" u can only invite people who have one or both and u CAN'T divulge which
@rickygervais: I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.