@moxieblogger: Held a newborn baby, was asked if I wanted one. Laughed & laughed all the way to the bar, where I can go because I don't have a baby. So no.
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@jonnysun: grampa: i was sent to war when ur mother was a baby. i didnt kno if i'd see her again me: noo my uber stopped on the other side of the road
@simoncholland: Can't believe my daughter said I was embarrassing her by trying to be cool. She needs to check the tude & stop being so wiggity wiggity wack
@ghostkrogh: judge: 99 yrs me: is it cos i called ur gavel a justice hammer? judge: no that actually helped me: killing then judge: yeah the killing
@platinum2000: [Haunted House] Ghost:You've been here a week Me: I like you G:You knew what this was M: I thought I was your boo G: I say that to everyone