@LurkAtHomeMom: Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
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@Spotzwoj: The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: 10: Can we go to the adoption store and pick up a new baby? Me: Sweet girl, Mama has 4 kids. If we go right now it's probably to drop off.
@MouthOfSass: Just found some clothes my ex left here. Perfect timing since I'm out of toilet paper.
@iLikeCatShirts: Dealer: Anyone follow you dude? Me: just my cat *dealer opens trench coat & my mom jumps out* Mom: why are you using drugs???