@FatherWithTwins: Hell hath no fury like a 5yo who didn't get as many pepperoni pieces on his pizza slice as his brother.
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@usedwigs: Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he’s wrong and you are positive their names are “Batman and Robert”.
@mommy_cusses: When one door opens, another one opens, and then another, and another. Because kids.
@jergarl: I finally saved up enough money to listen to my heart but it turns out that's just a metaphor. Anyway, I have stethoscope for sale.