@FatherWithTwins: Hell hath no fury like a 5yo who didn't get as many pepperoni pieces on his pizza slice as his brother.
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@scriptdave: Biden: I wanna join the protest. Obama: Joe, we've been over this. Biden: But they're-- Obama: How about some ice cream? . . . Biden: Okay.
@pittdave13: My son found some handcuffs under our bed so I had to have "the talk" today... I'm an international crime fighter now
@AlexRogaski: *lifts 10 pound weight* Nice. *adds "salmon" to list of animals I could protect a woman from*