@KBChicken75: Hell hath no fury like a pizza pocket that hasn't had proper cooling time.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Hispanic magician: "I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres
@pleatedjeans: [standing in driveway with wife] I thought we agreed on a Prius [giant eagle pecks at saddle] NO THIS IS BETTER
@rickkondell: I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.