@KBChicken75: Hell hath no fury like a pizza pocket that hasn't had proper cooling time.
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@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] No, his eyes were closer together than that, like a concussed mouse. He had a Spanish skeleton.
@leifromloihi: [pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators
@SortaBad: Me, age 18: I'll be a homeowner by the time I'm in my 30s Me, in my 30s: I own a single pair of matching socks