@KBChicken75: Hell hath no fury like a pizza pocket that hasn't had proper cooling time.
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@lawrence_bear: Apparently sleeping your way to the top, doesn't mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
@sarcasticmommy4: It isn't until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would've been a better option.
@tricycle_champ: [walking away from taco truck] WIFE: whats wrong ME: nothing WIFE: did u think the truck would be one giant taco ME: *wiping away tears* no
@AristotlesNZ: 9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!? Yo, evolution: You missed one..