@3sunzzz: Hell hath no fury like a toddler that sets down their popsicle and then comes back 20 minutes later to get it.
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@joeljeffrey: My first workout back at the gym was great... I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.
@Rollinintheseat: I hate it when I sit down on a warm public toilet seat and I have to set myself on fire.
@ShittyComedian: When you said coke I assumed you meant cocaine. No thank you. Soda is bad for you.
@SirEviscerate: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?" Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won't hire me.