@TheMichaelRock: Hell hath no fury like a white woman emailing Target after a bad shopping experience.
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@ShanaRose21: After reading some marriage tweets I'm beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
@Paxochka: It's cute how alcohol comes in a paper bag so when you hit rock bottom you have something to hyperventilate into.
@WillGeorgese: “Relax. It’s not a competition.” “Right. That’s what I say.” “But I said it first.”