@TheMichaelRock: Hell hath no fury like a white woman emailing Target after a bad shopping experience.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [buys plastic lightsabers for the kids] 5-year-old daughter: Mine is broken. Me: What's wrong with it? 5: It doesn't even cut off arms.
@thejakeshenry: I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni.
@bighandsmassuer: If you send her a message and she doesn't reply in six months she is probably thinking about it