@dshack8: Hell hath no fury like a woman not getting responses to her text messages while she sees that you're continuing to tweet.
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@LoneWolfStories: If I'm your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.
@jwoodham: Before I do anything important, I always ask myself "would this gain house points for Gryffindor or lose house points for Gryffindor?"
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: It's time for a vacation. Me: Where do YOU want to go? Wife: Hmm... Maybe the Bahamas? Me: Great idea! And, I'LL go camping upstate!
@Kendragarden: It's important to vary your diet. Like, yesterday I had popcorn & a margarita for dinner so tonight I'm having popcorn & wine for dinner.