@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a woman who stepped on the Legos you promised you'd pick up
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@TheBeerGuy73: A N U S B U T T M U F F ~ My reply when the optometrist asks me to read the lower lines, regardless of what I see
@TrainedHedonist: Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine.
@SteveSuckington: We need to keep kids off drugs. It's hard enough to find them without kids buying them too
@SarahMJade: When people ask me for directions Im just going to do a really slow sarcastic Macarena .