@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a woman who stepped on the Legos you promised you'd pick up
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Pork_Chop_Hair: My 8yo was putting sunscreen on my back and said “it feels like I’m rubbing a pig”, in case anyone wonders why I’m drunk later.
@MrsGoose69: Don't give a women flower, she may have hay fever. Don't give her chocolate, she may be on a diet! Give her wifi so there's no excuse.
@TheBoydP: You have to love a boss with a sense of humor. Mine just sent me a 7am meeting notice on Outlook and I've never laughed so hard...
@HoneyWooWoo: Once I get the creative juices flowing, I realize how disgusting that really sounds.