@dshack8: Hell hath no fury like that of a woman waiting for you to reply to her text all the while she sees you're continuing to send tweets.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@better_off_dad: *reading note from son: 'Can I borrow your car later?' *response: 'You spelled 'wash' wrong. But yes.'
@writerPT: Hubs: If you could sleep with... Me: THOR!!! Hubs: ...the fan off tonight, that'd be great. Me: Ohhhh...
@jergarl: Me: IT'S TIME TO SETTLE DOWN FOR THE NIGHT 8yo:*starts playing accordion M: Where did you even get that? 8:*making eye contact* No idea.