@dshack8: Hell hath no fury like that of a woman waiting for you to reply to her text all the while she sees you're continuing to send tweets.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@awkwardphilippe: *walks in* Nope! *does a 360° and walks in further* Ah that's why I failed geometry
@Briidashian: Being a diabetic has proved to be difficult. For example, I can't have a sugar daddy.
@jwoodham: If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym.
@mattZillaaaa: [job interview] "So do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?" Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?