@Bandersnaaatch: Hell hath no fury like this woman attempting to type "scorned" and having it autocorrected to "scrotum" 13 times in a row.
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@pauleggleston: I saw a statue of Cinderella today. I didn't like it, but I found the plinth charming.
@HatfieldAnne: “Service Dog, Do Not Pet.” We're sure this means me? Should we ask the dog? We should ask the dog.
@Writepop: In the new Star Wars film, Han Solo goes to Chewbacca's home planet and discovers that all the other Wookies wear pants.
@Kimpulses: You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.