@Bandersnaaatch: Hell hath no fury like this woman attempting to type "scorned" and having it autocorrected to "scrotum" 13 times in a row.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: [at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. "He's a cat though." [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?
@VeggieMonger: My mother said that I looked "cheap" with my bra showing underneath my clothes - so I took my bra off.
@TheMichaelRock: Pregnant white women over 30 always buy the biggest SUV around, because you never know when you'll give birth to half of a baseball team.
@david8hughes: [phone rings] "Mr Hughes?" "Yeah." "We need u to come pick yr son up from school." "Ugh. Whats he done now?" "Nothing. Its nearly midnight."