@That_Damn_Duck: Hell hath no fury like woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat.
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@Kyle_Lippert: Researchers have found why bears hibernate. "They're sad due to a break up" said one. "It's been a year Brent. Move on. I have" said another
@LuvPug: Just pulled into the 'Expecting Mothers' parking spot at Walmart because I'm fully expecting to lose my shit on one of my kids in there.
@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.
@DontTouchMyWine: I’m the kind of girl who won’t stop until you’re screaming your safeword. Related: Your safeword’s the first 16 digits of your credit card.