@HeidiCF8: Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away anything, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a mexican drug lord.
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@Home_Halfway: Charles Barkley sounds like a made-up name a dog would think of to get into a fancy country club.
@SeanINCypress: Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
@JohnLyonTweets: [before pepper spray was invented] Cop: *holds pepper grinder in suspect's face* Say when.