@Sal0630: Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee
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@animadvertguy: WIFE: really? ME: uh? WIFE: 20 mins and you haven't noticed? ME: oh! hair looks nice, hun WIFE: [crossing her 1 arm] I had my surgery today.
@bathflyer: My boss always calls me Sweetypie when he wants me to get him coffee..I estimate he's swallowed a bucket of my spit in the last 4 years..
@djdarrellripley: Police Officer: You know, this is a one way street? Me: I was only going one way...