@dixie_dupree: Hell is full of ugly babies, tinkerbell tshirts and fat women debating the tastiness of frozen meals.....oh wait. This is just walmart
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@KKAlThani: Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today & I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying "curiosity was here"
@DaddyJew: Your son has been suspended "for what?" He hit a kid who was picking on another child "so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"
@Midgetspar: I'm thinking about giving that Call of Duty game a shot, but first I'm gonna try one last time to get past level 4 on Duck Hunt.
@Brianhopecomedy: I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.