@TheCareBare: Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Reasons I put my kids to bed on time: 3) They need their rest. 2) Routine is important. 1) "Game of Thrones" is on.
@boogersincoffee: i hate when you google stuff like 'insidious' it gives you the definition but when you google 'butt' it doesn't. define butt for me damn it
@XplodingUnicorn: [church] 1-year-old: *throws a tantrum* Me: This is the worst place for a meltdown. Wife: Nuclear power plants? Me: Second worst place.