@TheCareBare: Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.
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@Ygrene: [first day at coaching job where I lied pretty badly on my resume] ok guys, get out there & do some of those *looks at clipboard* slum danks
@Cpin42: When I was a kid, I wanted to be Stephen Hawking. Now that he's dead, that feeling is even stronger
@NINETIREDBUGS: the moon has NO GENDER and IS MY BEST FRIEND and SAID YOU GUYS HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME OR IT'S CANCELING TIDES FOREVER
@TheDailySchmuck: First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.