@BangMyBongo: Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children
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@Teowulf: I just had to add "velociraptor" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something.
@loribuckmajor: Sometimes when my family is especially ungrateful, I don't wash the vegetables when I make their salads.
@hyperblastchic: My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles.
@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.