@BangMyBongo: Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children
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@TheDweck: SENATOR: “Would you agree that it’s bad for Facebook to steal users’ blood and use it to create a clone army?” ZUCK: “That’s an interesting question that I’ll have to discuss further with our team. Did you know I started this company in my dorm room?”
@13spencer: If the headline just read "Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead," news sites could reuse it over and over again.
@amydillon: Married conversation is like regular conversation except you're both brushing your teeth.
@LoriLuvsShoes: When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun