@BangMyBongo: Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children
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@Parkerlawyer: Broke my make-up mirror this morning. I thought people would say 7 yrs of bad luck but mostly it's been, "Your eyeliner is really crooked."
@envydatropic: So many people say "if my memory serves me correctly" and I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of servants named Memory.......
@squirrel74wkgn: *looks over back shoulder* *puts car in reverse* Wife: OH MY GOD *slams brakes* Me: WHAT? Wife: Becky just posted the cutest picture