@HatfieldAnne: “He'll regret that shot till he's screaming on his deathbed.” British golf commentary. It's the reason I'm a fan.
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@jonnysun: DAD: wat am i chopped liver CHOPPED LIVER: [in this joke imagine choped liver is a sentiemt being] wat the hell is that suposed to mean phil
@13spencer: People who like "The Bachelor" are like racists; you know they're out there, but you just hope your friends don't feel that way.