@GrantTanaka: "Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I'M ASKING THEM"
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@Mr57percent: The older I get, the more I feel like the town elders in Footloose were actually pretty cool.
@djdarrellripley: Her: I like dangerous sex, like in a moving car! Me: Have you ever had an accident? Her: No, I'm on the pill. Me: (Sigh)
@Prero22: I feel guilty about being Asian because I didn't start playing the violin since I was born.