@briangaar: HELLO 911, I NEED TO REPORT A HALO SCORE THAT'S "CRIMINALLY" HIGH LOL!!!! ... yes you can talk to my mom
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@kumailn: If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself "Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."
@Fred_Delicious: "Sir you can't bring your dog onto the plane" [labradoodle puts on tiny pilot hat] "Omg captain I'm so sorry"