@briangaar: HELLO 911, I NEED TO REPORT A HALO SCORE THAT'S "CRIMINALLY" HIGH LOL!!!! ... yes you can talk to my mom
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@bobvulfov: hm so saying "oh god" and "oh yes" during sex is acceptable and encouraged but as soon as i say "oh text RESIST to 50409 to support net neutrality" im suddenly ruining the mood??
@TheIronSherk: Raspberry buy guitar Raspberry take lessons Raspberry answer ad Raspberry show up at drummer's house Raspberry plug in Raspberry Jam
@TheTweetOfGod: The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine's Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die.
@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."