@SomeChrisTweets: HELLO, 911? I'M FALLING DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. YES, RIGHT NOW. VERY SLOWLY, THAT'S HOW. HOLD ON, SOMEONE JOINED. WHOA, NOW WE'RE FALLING UP
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@TheMichaelRock: My 8yo is watching a video of a guy watching a video of another guy flipping water bottles. Please pray for me during this difficult time.
@audipenny: I am dressed in all grey and a man also dressed in all grey just stared at me and for a second I got very nervous that he thought I was him
@FrogAvalanche: Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure.
@Be___Dope: Cashier: You're the first person to not buy flowers or chocolates today. Me: * looks down at burrito and donuts * It's still love though.