@SomeChrisTweets: HELLO, 911? I'M FALLING DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. YES, RIGHT NOW. VERY SLOWLY, THAT'S HOW. HOLD ON, SOMEONE JOINED. WHOA, NOW WE'RE FALLING UP
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@kchees: All the single ladies put your hands up! *handcuffs all the single ladies together and pushes them off a cliff* I'm your only option now.
@internetluke: [Seahawks locker room] Coach: okay if we want to win we will need to have a bigger number for the score! Wilson: well put! Well put!
@justabloodygame: No one sleeps with Gandalf because it takes him until first light on the fifth day to come.