@OBiiieeee: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
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@PartyBitchKayla: advice to my younger self: dont bang that old man on his helicopter he’s not joe biden
@myles_morrison: All the people that tried partying 'til the cows come home, are either stuck at home with a cow or dead from alcoholism.
@PS_IRuddYou: Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop... That's not a front for anything illegal I'm sure...
@KimmyMonte: Rejected Pixar Movie Titles: House Float Find My Fish Son Automobile People A Rat Cooked This Ugh, We Gotta Find Another Fish