@littlehauntings: hello 911? yes do you think i'm pretty
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@envydatropic: I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English
@70Ceeks: hungover at 22: dag gonna be 9 minutes late for work at 39: ...finally, to my faithful cat elroy i leave my cache of nagano '98 olympic pins
@slimmy_shady: When I have a daughter I'm naming her Leroy. No guy will ever say "Yo bro I hooked up with Leroy last night" how would that sound?
@SteveSuckington: Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses? Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.