@megfraser: HELLO automatic flushing toilet!! I appreciate the enthusiasm but I really wasn't finished
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@junejuly12: Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows.
@BadJordon: [ER] HIPSTER: I fell off my acoustic motorcycle & broke my mustache twirler. DOC:… H: I fell off my bike & broke my hand. D: Rub kale on it.
@Elizasoul80: Sometimes I put a vase of flowers outside to let other flowers know that if they try to be prettier than me, I'll cut their legs off too.