@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello everyone this is your pilot speaking. If u look out the windows on your left youll see some fish. This is the worst Ive ever messed up
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@dafloydsta: [therapy] ME: *in tears* So anyway, that's why I think she left me PERSON ON ELEVATOR: Please, I have a family
@WilliamAder: Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
@AcerbicSuburban: Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
@ARealTinderella: Whenever I tinker with the idea of a having a relationship, I go spend a night with my married friends.