@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello everyone this is your pilot speaking. If u look out the windows on your left youll see some fish. This is the worst Ive ever messed up
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@iwearaonesie: *kidnapper calls to make his demands but my kid keeps interrupting him to ask if he wants to see his fidget spinner*
@PoblicMenace: If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I'm a bad parent... A bad parent with an ice cold beer.
@humanwarnings: The next time I hang out with people who start making out in front of me, I'm going to start flossing my teeth in front of them.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Suicide Squad spoiler: Jared Leto's Joker is so twisted he puts big spoons in the drawer slots where the little spoons go.