@shariv67: Hello? I'd like to rent one bouncey house, please. How many will be using it? Just one. Her age? Uh. Four........ty-seven.
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@Danny_McH2O: I met a girl that told me, "Make me laugh and I'm yours". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :(
@WigCannon: "Can I see your ID?" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* "What are you doing?" I don't know.
@Book_Krazy: *Arrives at work 2 hrs late Boss: HR wants to see you about your behavior Me: Well, I literally just got here so it couldn't have been me
@JesKeepSwimming: "So tell me more about yourse-PUT DOWN MY FRIES IF YOU WANT TO WALK OUT OF HERE WITH ALL 4 LIMBS INTACT." - What not to say on a first date.