@thenatewolf: Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out.
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@novicefather: [1st ppl to go camping] wife: what do u wanna do this week? hubs: luxury cruise? w: no h: nice hotel? w: no h: pretend to be homeless w: YES
@AmericanGent69: If my name was Simon I would always talk in the third person when telling someone to do something.
@0point5twins: QUESTIONS YOU CAN ANSWER BY PEEING ON THINGS: 1. Am I pregnant? 2. Does my boss have a very forgiving nature?
@theevilwriter: I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted.