@brendohare: Hello. I'm the guy who sleepeats thousands of spiders every year and screws up the average for everyone. Sorry for scaring you.
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@Carbosly: Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty.
@PeachCoffin: I explained ‘gluten allergy’ to my grandma and she sighed and told me they ate leather belts during WWII to keep from starving
@Thereeveryday: One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes & then walk away.