@ahuj9: Hello is this HP? I'd like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
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@hardlyrelevant: Me: (from the back of the ambulance) CHANGE THE RADIO Medic: Sir you need to conserve your strength Me: I AM NOT DYING TO A COLDPLAY SONG
@BromanConsul: GOD: hey my son is broken, he won't absolve the sins of mankind IT GUY: try turning him off, waiting 3 days, then turning him back on again