@ahuj9: Hello is this HP? I'd like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: me: [slides bank teller a note] bank teller: what's a "roblery"
@djdarrellripley: Me: Go to school! 9yr Old: It's Sunday. Me: Go to church! 9yr Old: I'm Jewish. Me: Convert!
@AndyAsAdjective: HER: I still think you made up that word just so you could win at Scrabble ME: that's ridictacular
@deloriumforsale: I hope the guy who named the "walkie talkie" called his home phone "standie talkie" and his toilet "sittie shitty".
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