@ComedyAndTruth: Hello it's 911, what's your emergency?" "Two boys are fighting over me" What is the problem with it? "The ugly one is winning."
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@Cheeseboy22: After taking a bunch of 7-year-olds on a field trip to the Natural History Museum, I realized their favorite exhibit was "Elevator Buttons."
@SondraDeeMe: Me:She's better than me. BF:She's not. M:Look at those, they're incredible! BF: M:STOP STARING! -Boyfriend reading other women's tweets