@ComedyAndTruth: Hello it's 911, what's your emergency?" "Two boys are fighting over me" What is the problem with it? "The ugly one is winning."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: *sees Deer Crossing sign* *further down the road sees deer nailed to crucifix* "Oh wow, they weren't lying"
@AGStr8upNinja: I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches.
@simoncholland: My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it's my fault.
@JermHimselfish: I need to hire someone to follow me around and abruptly drag a needle across a record every time that I enter a room.