@BuckyIsotope: Hello OnStar? Yes I have an emergency. My wife thinks Pikachu is better than Squirtle. I left her at a gas station. Can you go get her?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sassafrantz: He'd probably stop sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts if he saw how many chins pop out when I look down to read it.
@the_couch_guy: People of Twitter: If you worry that you aren't creative enough, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
@UncleDuke1969: *wakes up at the crack of Dawn* *instantly regrets drunk dialing Dawn last night*
@UncleDuke1969: ALERT At 9:20am, I lost an apostrophe. Last seen in the word "Let's". If you see it, please send it home. Its tweet misses it.