@BuckyIsotope: Hello OnStar? Yes I have an emergency. My wife thinks Pikachu is better than Squirtle. I left her at a gas station. Can you go get her?
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@RobElliottComic: [having sex] Me: CHECK IT OUT NO HANDS! Her: USE YOUR HANDS! Me: *raises the roof*
@4handfuls: AC changed "laughing at your gif" to "laughing at your God" and now I've accidentally started a religious war in this group text...
@Z_Mendenhall: Remember when you first started driving and everything was scary. Now you're going 80, putting salsa on your taco, driving with your knees.