@finkelsteino: Hello, police, I have a burglar trapped in my home gym. Please hurry. The longer he's in there the more powerful he'll become.
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@BillCorbett: Deranged Extremist 1: We'll drown 100 kittens. Deranged Extremist 2: We won't drown ANY kittens. Cool Centist: We'll drown 50 kittens.
@jazmasta: *strums ukulele* This one goes out to my ex wife, Lucy. It's called "I know how much you hate ukuleles so I wrote a 9 minute ukulele song"