@finkelsteino: Hello, police, I have a burglar trapped in my home gym. Please hurry. The longer he's in there the more powerful he'll become.
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@Cravin4: It was that very moment when we realized our shared love for multipurpose utensils brought us together & that's when the sporks flew.
@NothingOnNeecie: We spent $12,775 on daycare last year, for anyone currently using the pull out method.
@KKAlThani: *trips a girl and catches her* Haha looks like you're falling for me *winks* *gets slapped*
@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.