@finkelsteino: Hello, police, I have a burglar trapped in my home gym. Please hurry. The longer he's in there the more powerful he'll become.
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@KeetPotato: [ordering cake over phone] "and what would you like the cake to say?" [covers phone to ask wife] "do we want a talking cake?"
@ScreaminZeman: When I go out to eat I wear a shirt w/ a picture of me shirtless on it, because I hate rules but I like service.