@finkelsteino: Hello, police, I have a burglar trapped in my home gym. Please hurry. The longer he's in there the more powerful he'll become.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GoodZiIIa: waitress: can i get you some coffee [remembering a friend telling me when a girl invites you for coffee she wants to get to know you] me: back away harlot
@RobDenBleyker: Finally watching Michael Bay's TMNT. Best part so far is a dude answering a Skype call and yelling "How did you get this number?!?"