@briangaar: HELLO POLICE, MY SON JUST TAUGHT CUT TO A LEGENDARY POKEMON I WANT HIM TRIED AS AN ADULT
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@SCbchbum: Lady next to me in 50 Shades pulled out her glasses & asked if she missed the good part. I said no, the credits weren’t rolling yet.
@StellaGMaddox: My husband purchased his 4th book about a wife whose husband murders her for having an affair. I wonder if I should warn my boyfriend.
@myles_morrison: Whenever your girlfriend tells you she's on her period remember not to say things like "that explains it."