@FrenulumBreve: "hello pretty lady." [i slide down the bar] "what's your name?" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shawnspree: You know she loves you when you wakeup in a pool of ice in the motel room bathtub with only one kidney removed.
@Diversion50: Appendi Appendii Appendiii Appendiv Appendv Appendvi Appendvii Appendviii Appendix
@JohnLyonTweets: *walks into alma mater carrying English degree* I'd like a refund, please. This did not work as promised.
@danagould: The secret to having all of your dreams come true is to keep changing your dreams to something that's just about to happen anyway.