@Rollmaninoz: *Hello this is your pilot speaking, we still have about 9 hours in the air so let me entertain you folks reading you some of my tweets*
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@MavenofHonor: When I use my grandmother's cast iron skillet I feel close to her. Even though she's way, way up there repairing the space station
@Home_Halfway: I spent 2 hours at a gym looking angry with my arms crossed. The manager thought I worked there and gave me a raise
@Jason_maybe: Everyone has that psycho ex we pray we'll never run into again. If you don't you're probably it.
@AristotlesNZ: Neighbor: Yard sale huh? How much's mower? Me: $50 Him: Wait! That's the one you borrowed from me! Me: $20 Him: Its a $500 mower! Me: ..$100