@Tommytoughstuff: "Hello welcome to meteorologist school. Please stick your head out of the nearest window and pick your diploma up on your way out."
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@GhantaGuy: It's so annoying when you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them and they don't accept your friend request.
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were u on the night of the 3rd?" Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape?" Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.
@TitansHomer: Failed biology because apparently the answer to "what is commonly found in cells?" Isn't "Blacks and Mexicans"
@LeslieInMpls: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot".