@Tommytoughstuff: "Hello welcome to meteorologist school. Please stick your head out of the nearest window and pick your diploma up on your way out."
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@Robert_Beau: At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Heath Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?
@juliussharpe: Business plan: 1) Spend 20 years mastering karate 2) Teach karate class, so you meet people who don't know karate 3) Rob them
@o__0Dev: I tried a vegan recipe book last night. It was much tastier than any of the recipes in it.