@B_poling82: Hello, welcome to the evening news, where we're going to scare the shit out of you for 45 minutes, then weather & sports. Stay tuned.
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@TheThomason: Finally got the "Josh Duggar is good" neck tattoo I've wanted for years, now let me just read today's news as I take a large sip of water...
@snow_van: Shania Twain marrying her best friend's ex husband after her husband and best friend had an affair is some count of monte cristo level shit
@NicestHippo: "Can you explain this Gap in your work history?" Yes that's when I worked for the popular clothing retailer
@kiel_phillips: ME: Dave's coming over for tea WIFE: Dave from work or Dave I'm having a secret affair with? DAVE: *from inside wardrobe* I don't eat peas